!!Jai Shri Mataji!!
Advise of Shri Mataji to Brides and Bridegrooms:
Today is an auspicious occasion, is the most auspicious in the life of human being. It is auspicious, that’s why it is joy giving and the vibrations flow with that auspiciousness all over the world. The joy of the Sahajayogis today in England, London, Switzerland all over the world. Marriage is meant to give joy. Is meant to give cheerfulness, happiness and all the blissful things that you can think of achieving through our combinations with two human beings you can say.
It’s a very close and private relationship which has to be respected. It is not to be in any way dishonored or indiscreetly squandered away. Those who can’t respect their partners in life will never be respected by anyone. Those who think or in any way to spoil the image of their partners are harming them. Try to understand each other. Decorating, nor correcting, but decorating like an ornament when added to a personality decorates that person. In the same way try to decorate another person. So…
That must be maintained. Marriage is the bondage that keeps the society in it’s own beautiful bondage of modesty. Give up all your old ideas, all your so-called modern methods by which you have ruined your married life.
If you can’t enjoy your own wife or your own husband then there’s nothing in this world that you can enjoy, because the relationship is the most intimate and very sacred. So you have to forget that you lived independently. Now you live as one person, one personality, supporting energies, complementing each other in complete concord. This creates that place which you are talking about. If the marriages are not successful of two persons how do we expect the whole nation to live happily, just think about it.
At this level the seeds of peace are sown, so you have to be sensible people, that’s the main part of marriage is, how far you are sensible about it. It’s easy to get into tantrums, get into tempers, get into some sort of an indecent, indiscrete huff, but the person who is sensible never crosses a certain limit of…
Once you’ve crossed it is very easy to cross again. That’s what today, when we read about Rama, is, that He is a PURUSHOTTAMA MARYADA. It is a bondage in which one has to remain. A woman has to remain in her boundaries and a man has to remain in his boundaries.
Now to think that a woman is dominated by man or a man is dominated by woman comes from a kind of complex and this complex must be given up. You are complementary to each other. You decorate each other. Never talk ill of your husband or never talk ill of your wife. This is the key of having an exclusive marriage. If you start talking of each other to others, that exclusiveness, that trust is finished. So you have to trust each other. That trust in God, children imbibe when they start learning from their parents how they trust each other.
So you are the nests where the tomorrow’s great children are to be born, to be established, and to grow as great saints.
And all of you should understand the value of Sahajayoga. You have to create a model marriage for all the English, for all the Americans, Europeans and also Indians. Because Indians learn from you all this. If you have model marriages they will go on for model marriages. So it is important for people who live in England to understand the depth of this occasion and the esteem of God will move through the whole universe and to the people.
Enjoyment is your own, is exclusive, but in sahahjayoga it so collective, it is so collective, you have so many brothers and sisters and we are all enjoying the joy of you couples who have joined together as husband and wife. So one has to understand that marriage should not make you narrow minded or selfish or in any way cut off from others, that all relationship are beautiful in their own form. Like you have brothers and sisters, you have mothers and fathers. You have got sahajayoga and you have got the children. All in their own forms should be given what they deserve, what they have to have, what is the right thing to be done.
Marriage gives you now a reason to be dharmic, to be moral. This teaches you how to respect the chastity of others and your own chastity. We have to teach ourselves. You know how much damage has already been done by having bad marriages. We have to teach ourselves. We have to bear a little bit. We have to educate, reeducate and improve ourselves and not to say that I’m such and such, what can I do?
You have to bring glory to the system of marriages because it is the system established by God Almighty, is not established by human beings, this is a wrong idea. It is established by God Almighty to have an auspicious occasion where such an auspicious thing is taken- the sacredness of this is to maintain and has to be done in such a way that it is a very decent relationship.
All the culture, all the beauty of gracious living flows in happy married life. Not vulgar, not showing, not cheap but a dignified, enjoyable, cheerful, welcoming, giving companionship.
I am sure you all realised the importance of it. And I am sure you all must have prepared yourself for this occasion and I would like to see among all of you, you really show the complete acceptance of your partners as part and parcel of your being and the graciousness with which you handle that. I bless you all, you are all saints and saints have married, all the angels and all celestial being must be singing.
Assume, assume your position, that position in your self-esteem. We all are with you the time to help you, to sustain your relationship. All of you must see that you sustain your relationship. Make them feel the sweetness of marriage. And the whole enjoyment of their companionship should flow to us as the ripples flow towards the shore and again are repelled back into the ocean. In the same way it should be such a give and take.
For that the sea of married life is purity. Purity is the only way you can keep your married life absolutely alright. Whatever has happened in the past let’s forget it. Now starts the new life. After this don’t hide anything from your wife or from your husband. Everything must be told, should be straightforward life. Absolutely a straightforward life, extremely pure and this purity everywhere reflected.
Marriage always elevates a person. But purity is the key of married life. And I hope you remember these words. Try to keep your mind pure. Do not suspect your wife, nor deceive. Trust her. Keep a straightforward relationship and learn how to be that way, your children will learn from you and there’s no time taken now for the whole world to be transformed once you learn this trust.
A complete trust, as you trust yourself you must trust the other who is not the other anymore. So those who have been married before, those who are married, who are going to get married and those who are married today, for all of them, I bless you with a very deep enjoyment of this understanding. The joy of your purity, the beauty should flow all your lives, eternally.
May God bless you.
(From H H Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi ,Hampstead, 29.11.1981)