Some people pay too much attention to marriage, you see. A marriage becomes a headache. Also then, “What about my marriage?” Then again ten minutes you see that person, “What about my marriage?” Again after ten minutes, “What about my marriage?” You want to run away. I mean, you see, it’s something becomes like a mania for people, “What should we do?” And the whole thing is all depends, and the whole programming depends on how you are going to get married. So you have come to Sahaja Yoga, you are Sanyasis. You are not married people in a way, you are married only to Sahaja Yoga, that’s your husband, that’s your wife. And the so-called husband and wife are there. But if they are not Sahaja Yogis then you are unmarried, definitely. So too much attention is paid in Sahaja Yoga to marriages. I’ve seen that before, before marriage – before Sahaja Yoga, marriage was a joke. Every third day there was a divorce and people would run away and do all kinds of things. Then when they got married after Sahaja Yoga they are the greatest romantic people ever known in the whole world. I mean, all Romeo and Juliets going about, I just don’t understand. Even in the Indian villages people complain that, “What sort of these people are? I mean, they have no sense at all and the way they go round, are they the saints?”
So that saintliness, that sanyasta, that asceticism has to be expressed in our married life. I don’t mean that you don’t have relationship with your husband but in a very private way. It’s has to be extremely private and it should not be such a great thing to go into romanticism. You’ll ruin the whole of Sahaja Yoga in the West if you start doing that nonsense. Because also there’s an idea about it that, you see, you fall in love. But then you’ll fall, that’s the first point is. You’ll fall, you won’t to rise. So this attachment and this worry about the husband and this and that, I mean, you can carry on with any kind of a husband and wife if you are a Sahaja Yogi, should be able to. I mean, I know that’s very simple. It’s, your husband is a study, wife is a study, that’s all. You study a person, what sort of a person is. But for that you have to have the witness state and you have to see, you have to be detached. So in marriages one has to be detached.
But on the contrary I find that just after the marriage they want to organize some special thing for them to go to some sort of a honeymoon or some sort of a thing. I don’t know how these ideas crawl up. These are coming from the old conditioning of things and after honeymoon they come and say, “Mother, this marriage is not going to work out.” So it’s better to do slow and steady and then decide. Because you just jump into honeymoon mood and come back and say, “Mother, this I have, I have started thinking and I don’t think.” I know of a lady who was jumping with a Indian gentleman and she was on her way to Australia in Singapore, she telephones that, “Mother, I don’t think this marriage will work out.” And here everybody complain to Me, “Mother, these two are behaving in such a manner that Indians are rather embarrassed.” So the sense of shame you must learn from Indians. They never, husband and wife, never sit together in India, is regarded as bad manners and it should be with you also. That even in the Puja, even in anything they are sitting in the public, what is the need to show your relationship in the public? It’s only in the private. This is one of the things one if you start understanding, there will be a proper adjustment. Men should be with men in the public, women should be with the women together. But the women or men, whatever they are, whatever are their bad, bad points should not be brought back.
Shri Guru Puja. Avignon (France), 8 July 1990.